I have decided that I am not a very good blogger. I never find myself updating anything at all. I love to go and look at other people's blogs and see what fun they are having! I love to read about the wonderful trips they are taking or what great adventures their family has had. I never think that I have much to say that sounds interesting, so...

Right now, I am consumed with work. We are short staffed and it seems I have been pulled in so many different directions, that I cannot get myself organized. I just can't work if I can't get organized! On top of all of the mess, one of the women called in sick on Friday, or at least she said her child was sick. Not so, we found out that she just decided to go fishing! Unbelievable! I feel like I am floundering and will never catch up. I have also discovered that any extra work that any of us do, the office manager is taking credit for it and receiving bonuses for all of "his" hard work!! Fair? I think not. I can't say anything, because I have been told that I must be especially nice to this man, no matter what. I must be nauseatingly sweet to everyone and sugarcoat everything I say. This is hard when I know that an insurance will not pay for something, but I am not supposed to say that. I have to let them believe that everything is fine and then patients call me, angry as a hornet, when they discover that the $2000 test is not covered! If it were me, I would rather know ahead of time, so I could make an informed decision. Sometimes I think that the doctors wish to appear as "saviors" to the patients and do not want them to think that sometimes the answer is NO.

Well, enough of that. I am going to try and enjoy conference weekend and Easter Sunday and not think about the chaos too much.

Why blog?

I have been thinking about this blogging thing and it occurred to me that this will really be more of a personal thoughts and musings type of deal, since I don't know how people will ever know I am here, much less stumble upon the page to ever read it. I don't really know that many people and don't have just a ton of friends, so this whole thing seems pretty pointless except that maybe it will be therapeutic for me to write out my thoughts about whatever I am feeling like writing for that particular moment.
I used to write quite a lot. Especially after my husband, Jerry, died. I spent many hours writing out my feelings and thoughts and then I would give them to a dear friend to read. That person did not start out as a close friend. Just an acquaintance that developed into the best friend I could ever imagine. My feelings were never judged, but sometimes it would get me to open up a bit so that I was finally able to accept Jerry's death. It took a long time. A few years ago, my friend and his family moved to another state and as a gift, he gave me the entire folder of letters I had written. It will be good to have as a journal as I get older. I don't know if and when I will ever be able to read those writings, but it's good to know I have them.
So, the question about blogging. Is it really worthwhile? Maybe. I will give it a shot for awhile and see how it goes. Maybe something interesting will happen in my life and someday someone will find this blog and think it was worth reading. Who knows?

George

Random Beginnings

Okay, I have never blogged before, so the first entry is probably going to be pretty random. I have read other blogs and, in fact, found this by searching for some old friends from way back when I was just starting a new stage in my life.

Now I am finding myself in yet another stage and not really sure what to do with it. Most people have a husband/wife/partner/significant other at this stage that they have plans to do things with as they arrive at this stage. By things, I mean maybe travel, or garden, go to movies/theater, or just something where you may have an interest together. Since I am a widow and have no significant other, the travel, gardening, hobby thing doesn't hold much interest for me. Who do you turn to when you see a beautiful landscape or a prize winning tomato and exclaim at the wonder of it all?

My children are great and they try to do things with me, but it is time for them to be with their chosen eternal companions and not have to worry about what mom is going to do to keep from turning into one of those little old cat women who talks to herself. (I do have a cat, by the way, whose name is George). After I figure out the inner workings of this blog, I will try to post a picture of him, so everyone can see who wakes me up every morning without fail, stomping up and down my side and finally coming to rest with his head draped over my shoulder, staring at me, waiting for my eyes to open. He weighs 17 pounds, so this is REALLY a wake up call, and NOT a gentle nudge! I was not the one who made him 17 pounds. He came to me that way. The girl he was living with stated she was allergic to him and was going to have him put down. After I heard this and found out he had been living in a closet, naturally, I had to meet him and see what would make someone force a cat to live in a closet. I was afraid he would have giant lemur type eyes from trying to adjust to life in the dark, and albino skin from no sunlight. He is in fact, a giant orange tabby, who is absolutely beautiful and loving. He came to meet us and won my heart and has now taken over the entire house.

I just received a call from one of my kids who wants to see a movie tonight!! Yay!

Enough rambling for one post. I will try again later with more structured thoughts.